So tonight I left my parents house again in floods of tears. “Why is life so cruel?” “why do I feel so helpless?” “What can I do to help?” “This is so” f**king unfair” are just a few thoughts running through my head as I drive home, thankfully in the dark so noone can see the blubbering mess I’ve become behind the wheel.

I got home feeling like I couldn’t talk to my husband about what had happened tonight. Not because I find it hard but I just know its going to be the same conversation with no resolution. I’m tired of talking things over and over again and again and I’m sure some people are just so fed up of me talking about it at times or they struggle to know what to say. I know there is no fix for this but sometimes I just need to let it out so I thought I needed another outlet to express how I was feeling. Fast forward 2 hours later and this blog was born!! I feel so much better already and I haven’t done anything yet other than write this post!

I’m not after sympathy, I don’t want (or need!) criticism, I just felt I wanted to start documenting what it’s like for a family member to see their loved one live with Dementia. That right, LIVE, just like you live with any other disability, illness or health conditions. The family member is me, the loved one is my dad, my hero.

Throughout my posts I aim to highlight my own personal struggles as well as my moms and brothers with the responsibility of ensuring my dad is safe and comfortable for as long as possible whilst at home for how ever much longer that may be. Please feel free to offer words of wisdom and support and like any of these posts if you find them useful. x